Fast & Furious - the birth of Sophie Joy

Before I recount this story, just a warning - it is a labour and birth story - so while I won't go into too much gross detail - it still is a labour story - so read on at your own choice!

On Monday 11th July, I woke up at 5:30am quite startled. Not because labour had started, but because Dave had dropped something off his side table and woke me up. I was quite annoyed as I didn't want to be awake that early. I grunted something to Dave to show my displeasure and rolled over to try to get back to sleep. Then I noticed my back was quite sore. I didn't think much of it, because my back was always sore at 40+ weeks and each morning I woke up feeling quite uncomfortable. I needed to go to the toilet, and got up to go thinking my back seemed worse than usual. I told Dave, but said there were no contractions, so don't get too excited.

I climbed back into bed, and at 6am, I felt something like the baby had suddenly dropped down. It's a weird feeling, like a thud inside your body. This was how labour started with Jessica when my waters broke. So I went back to the bathroom to discover my waters had broke. I told Dave, very excited now that this had to be it. Although there were still no contractions, just some back pain, so I told Dave to get dressed and ready to go. He got himself ready, then got the kids up and dressed them. By this time, contractions had begun. They were pretty close together from the start - about 3-4mins I think.

By the time Dave had the kids dressed, he called his mum to leave from Wollongong to come over, and then our lovely local friends to come around asap to mind the kids til Dave's mum got there.

By this stage I was pacing the lounge room, contractions about 2-3 mins apart and in a lot of pain. I was telling Dave to hurry up. Once our friend arrived to mind the kids, we left just after 6:40am.

The car trip over was very intense. My contractions were getting closer and closer together. Dave was asking me all sorts of questions about whether I wanted the aircon warmer or cooler. I was not particulalry helpful in my responses - as by this stage I was in transition and pretty cranky! I found it really hard to get comfortable while strapped in the car seat with contractions very intense and under 2 mins apart.

Dave was driving very fast (the hospital is half an hour away), as he knew we didn't have much time. We saw a police car who'd pulled over someone ahead for speeding, so I yelled at Dave to slow down, only to tell him to speed up again once we were past him!

At a set of lights I realised I hadn't told my mum I was in labour (she was in Coffs Harbour as her mother was very sick). So I rang her at 7:05 and said something like "Mum, it's me, on the way to hospital, contractions very close, can't talk, BYE!"

Then 2 mins later we were at the hospital. Dave came over to help me out and I realised I couldn't move. My legs would not move. My contractions were pretty constant now, so I waited for what seemed like a break and Dave had to move my legs out the car for me to be able to stand up. As soon as I stood, I realised I wouldn't be able to walk far. We walked through the carpark to the pathway when I felt the unmistakable urge to push. For those who've had children, you'll understand when I say that you can't stop that urge. You must push. It's like an instinct or something.

So I started screaming. And I mean SCREAMING. I was yelling "Help. I need to push!" I just kept yelling. I couldn't walk. Poor Dave didn't know what to do. I yelled that he had to go get someone, I knew I couldn't move. Then I just started to squat down and push. There was nothing else I could do. I could feel the baby's head and knew I had to push her out. I was screaming the whole time.

Then out of about 3 different doors I never knew existed popped all these heads. Hospital staff were running from everywhere. One women yelled "I'm a midwife, I know that sound. Do you need a wheelchair?"  I was still screaming. Dave said yes and they put me on it and wheeled me to the delivery suite. I was still screaming "I'm pushing!" The midwife was telling me not to push - I told her "I"M PUSHING!" They got me into a room very quickly and helped me onto a bed. I told them again I was pushing. They said, don't push. There were about 3 or 4 midwives rushing around in there. One was saying she was getting a monitor to strap onto me for the baby, the others were asking details of Dave and me. I was still yeling "I have to push!"

So they pulled my pants off and had a look. "Oh!" One of them said, "I can see the head, you can push."

So I pushed, with the first push, her head was out. Then with the second push, she was completely out. It was absolutely amazing. I think I'd been on the bed for about a minute or two max before she arrived. She was born at 7:13am.

The midwives put her straight up onto my chest for a cuddle. It was such a relief to see her! I looked over at Dave and he had this stunned look on his face, like he couldn't believe it had happened so fast!

Soon after I got to have some proper skin to skin contact with our little Sophie and give her a breast feed. Since then it's all been that wonderful blurry time with a newborn. She is adorable and we praise God for her safe arrival in the hospital!

Now all I need is a new title for this blog. No more loafering for me with 3 kids! Suggestions anyone?

It's been a while

It's been two weeks since I had the stitch out, and I can't believe that I still haven't had the baby! I'm 38 weeks today and very thankful to God that He has got me this far in the pregnancy. I'm looking forward to meeting this little girl soon.

With Jessica I went into labour at 38 1/2 weeks, and with Matty is was earlier, so I'm thinking that this baby can't stay in longer than a few days. But then, what do I know? God's the one in control. My prayer now is that she be healthy and well when she arrives and that we'll get to the hospital in time! My labours are quite quick, so with the hospital half an hr away, I'm slightly anxious Dave will have to deliver this baby in the car!

The last couple of weeks I've been gradually doing more and more each day. Now I feel like I'm almost back to normal duties, although I feel quite tired doing everything! I think it's probably a combination of my body getting used to moving around all the time after over 3 months of lying down (my muscles ached so much the first few days after I was off rest), and also that I'm 38 weeks pregnant, and it just is exhausting carrying around all this extra weight!

Matty and Jess are enjoying having me mobile again. Jess keeps asking when we go out "Are you coming with us Mummy?" and when I say yes, she gets so excited and jumps around! I love being able to do more with them again.

I've also been in the most extreme nesting phase ever! I have systematically rearranged and organised almost every room in the house in the last 2 weeks. I'm loving being able to tidy and organise and feel really ready for this baby now. I think Dave is loving not having to do so much as well! He has been fantastic over the last few months and I can't believe how loving and patient he is. I am very thankful for such a wonderful husband! He's also learnt some good cooking techniques and recipes which I think he's hoping I'll forget he knows! No such luck Davey!

So for those who pray, please pray that this baby will be healthy and be born soon! Pray that she'll grow up to know and love Jesus and that Dave and I would be wise and godly parents to her and our other two beautiful children.

And so the waiting game continues...

The "simple" procedure

This is for those who are interested in the events of the last couple of days for me...a warning though... I will use words such as cervix, so if this is going to freak you out, stop reading now! Also - this is a long read - I tend to waffle a bit!

On Friday morning we were told to go into the birthing suite at 10am to have the stitch out. We arrived and were put in a waiting room til the dr was ready. We happened to be in the waiting room with two very excited ladies waiting to hear of the birth of their granddaughter in the room next door. They had to wait about an hr or so and were starting to get worried as the pushing part of the birth had been going on for a while. Dave prayed with them which was a great unexpected opportunity. The baby eventually arrived safely for them with lots of granny tears and excitement!

Around 12 we were called in. I told them straight up that my last expereince was very painful and I wanted the gas. The dr was happy enough for that to happen. Yay! The procedure started and although it was uncomfortable, it wasn't too painful so I held out without the gas. They got the stitch out, but then discovered there were two stitches in there. The second stitch was harder to reach. My cervix was very soft and the stitch (to use the dr's words) was "embedded" in there. OUCH! So she tried to get it out for a while, but it was clear it wasn't going to happen, and my cervix was cut and bleeding by their attempts so they gave up. She examined me and said she could feel the baby's head! That freaked me out a little!

 They told me I'd need a general anaesthetic to get it out. I was pretty disappointed, but happy I'd at least be asleep for the next bit, so no more pain! (So I thought!) Because I had eaten just before the procedure I then had to fast for the next 6hrs before I could have a general. More waiting!

About half an hr later another dr came in who was a specialist. He said he'd be willing to have another go at getting the stitch out so we could avoid the anaesthetic.He said it would definately hurt quite a bit (at least he was honest), so they'd make sure I was using the gas before they started. Dave and I agreed to give it a go.

So I sucked on that gas so hard before they started that I was light headed and laughing hysterically! I love that stuff. So he had a try, and it was pretty awful. I think Dave's hand might have got a bit bruised with how hard I squeezed it! The gas was great, but it really can't mask the pain that much! Thankfully the dr realised pretty quickly that it wasn't going to work and stopped. They agreed that a general was the only way to get it out. So, back to waiting. I was transferred to the antenatal ward to wait it out.

I was booked in for the op at 6pm, but things never go to plan, so ended up leaving for the op at 10:30pm.
In the meantime they put monitors on me and the baby as they were worried with all they'd done I'd go into labour. I was also bleeding a bit too. I started having some back pain which began to come in waves and quite regularly. I had similar back pains in labour with Matty, so a midwife stayed with me to monitor what was happening. They started coming every 2 minutes, but there was no abdominal tightening, so they still weren't sure if it was contractions or not. They rang down to theatre to say I needed to go quickly, but still I had to wait at least another hour. The contractions started to calm dowm and things went back to normal just before I went to theatre.

I was wheeled in, ready to go and the anaesthesiologist spoke to me telling me he was going to give me a spinal injection. I told him I was told it'd be a general anaesthetic. He spent a great deal of time trying to convince me to have a spinal instead. I was very hesitant, I couldn't talk to Dave - and feeling very anxious. I just didn't like the idea of needles in my spine, even though I know they are used all the time. But eventually I agreed as it would be better for the baby.

Then the surgeon came in to talk to me and told me I'd be having a general. I spoke to her about what the anaesthesiologist had said and she was very surprised. She spoke to him and it was obvious that they disagreed about what should be done. But the spinal was agreed upon. I was very nervous - I hated the idea of being awake for the whole thing.

The worst bit was the needles going in my back, after that the procedure was fine and I wasn't anxious at all. But it was the weirdest feeling - I've never had pins and needles quite like that! The procedure went well and quickly. After it was over, I was in recovery and had the shakes very violently. This lasted for an hour and a half at least and was not fun at all! My blood pressure (which is always quite low) dropped a lot and they had to monitor me very closely. Eventually Dave was allowed in and I told him about all the change in plans and what had happened. Once I was stable, (a couple of hrs after the prcedure) I was transferred back to antenatal. I was starting to have sensation in my knees finally. But it took quite a few hours before I could feel my legs fully. They did a check of the baby's heart beat and once that was fine and I was settled, Dave could finally go home around 2ish for some sleep! I didn't get much sleep that nght with all the obs that had to be done.

The next day, things settled down and I felt much better. They did a check of the baby, and at first she was showing signs of distress, so I needed the ctg machine on for a good 45 mins to check she was ok. Eventually she started to do the right thing. Praise God! Otherwise they were talking emergency caesar. 

So they wanted to keep me in another night just to be sure all was ok with me and the baby. Things went well after that with this bub doing great (must have been the extra chocolate I ate to hype her up!) The only thing they were worried about was my low blood pressure, til they worked out that was just me!

So on Sunday morning the dr gave me the all clear to go home! I'm thankful that it's all over and that everything is ok with the baby at the moment! I'm thinking though that this bub will be making her entrance soon!

Off the sofa?

Well, tomorrow's the day. Tomorrow I am 36 weeks pregnant, and the stitch will come out (hopefully)!  I have to call into the birthing suite at 7:30am tomorrow to see when I can come in. There's 3 caesars booked in, so who knows if they'll get around to me or not!

I'm a little bit excited and a little bit anxious all at once. I know from last time that it is not a quick pain-free procedure like they promise! They don't offer any pain relief, except last time I ended up having the gas as things didn't go as quickly as they promised! So this time, I will be holding onto that gas from the word go!

I'm excited because it means that my time on the sofa is coming to an end! And even better, very soon we get to meet our precious little girl. I'll be getting up ad moving around a bit more from tomorrow - and will probably even go to church for the first time in 12 weeks- yay! But I still need to be careful not to overdo it too much. It'd be better for bubs if she could stay in another week or two.

So for those who pray: please pray that tomorrow would go quickly and not be too painful! Also pray that this little girl would be born safely when the time is right. There is still the risk that an infection may have developed in the womb that we don't know about. And pray that through all that happens God would be glorified in our lives and the precious life of our little girl who we can't wait to meet!

the simple things...

When you don't get out much, I find you need to focus on the simple things in life that bring joy and amusement to your day. Otherwise I'd just feel bored and sorry for myself!

So here's the simple things I've been thankful for recently:

Watching my little girl put on a tutu and dance around the lounge room.

Watching the delight on Jessica's face as she sees her birthday cake.

Rain falling on the roof.

Watching the stars from my bed at night through the skylight.

Watching my kids giggle with glee as they put gumboots on and jump in puddles.

Family treat time - chocolate milk! Yum.

Seeing Matthew help Jess when something's too hard for her.

My lovely husband preparing dinner for us night after night.

Having the time to read my Bible and other good books during the day!

Good friends who visit and chat with me over a nice hot cuppa.

Just a few of my favourite things at the moment. Time is ticking away though. I've been on bed rest for 11 weeks now. The date for the stitch to come out has been set for the 10th of June. I can't believe how soon that is! After that I'll get up and move around much more, assuming the baby doesn't come straight away! And I'm sure once this baby comes I'll long for these days again when I could rest all day! I'm praying that when life gets more hectic that I can still take small moments every now and then to stop and be thankful for the simple things.

Google: friend or foe?

I've always been someone who needs to know answers. When I was growing up I was constantly asking questions. Questions about everything. I used to drive my parents nuts on long car trips! Mum told me that if they could have afforded it, they would have bought me a set of encyclopedias to save all the questioning they endured! Those were the days before wikipedia and google of course.

Fast forward in time twentyish years, and here I am, the same girl, with an insatiable desire for answers to my questions. My questions have changed a lot over the years, but there are still so many questions! And I can't rest til I have answers. So, with the dawn of the digital age, the internet and answers immediately available at my fingertips, I am in heaven! Well, so I would have thought. The answers to my questions still go unanswered sometimes, and other times the answers are very unsatisfactory. Also, I have a tendancy towards being a worrier and slightly paranoid, so a little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing! Let me illustrate this with an amusing parenting story.

About a year and a half ago, I was reading a Jodi Piccoult book about a child with leukemia. So, as I had read this FICTIONAL book on the symptoms of leukaemia, of course I felt like I knew a bit about the disease. A couple of weeks after I read the book I was bathing the kids. I noticed Matthew (3yrs at the time) had a small bruise on the back of his neck. Immediately I thought of the book, where the mother first noticed bruises on her child, which led her to find out about the leukemia. I thought to myself, "Now Stephanie, don't panic. It's just a bruise. Kids get bruises all the time. Don't get carried away." But I couldn't let it rest. That night as the kids went to sleep I googled leukemia. Well, that was not a great idea. It sent me into a slight panic, as Matty had a couple of the symptoms - pale, sleeps a lot, bruises. I had enough sense to not book a Dr's appt straight away, but armed with this new information I was worried. I thought I'd just wait a while and see if any other symptoms developed. Two or so weeks later, while bathing the kids, I noticed another small bruise in the same spot on his neck. My heart started beating faster. All the information I knew about leukemia came rushing back and I was scared. I looked closer at the bruise and touched it. The mark started to wipe away. I grabbed the washer and rubbed, and the bruise had gone! I then realised what it was. Matty had started preschool that year and I had dutifully written his name on the tags of all his clothes. As it was summer and he was sweaty, the texta had rubbed off onto his neck. Needless to say I was relieved, and vowed never to panic myself via google again!

But, old habits take a while to break. So being laid up as I am, it's hard not to google the words "incompetent cervix" and see what you get. I've read wonderful stories and stories of heartbreak and pain. I know a lot about the condition technically and the different treaments they use around the world for it. I've read countless online forums and personal blogs and stories. And I have so much inforamtion and answers. But, it doesn't comfort me. I thought it would. But this is my life, not someone elses. There are no guarantees, no real answers, just wait and see.

I've come to realise that knowing answers and more information isn't necessarily a good thing. Google is not my friend. It promises so much, but ultimately I am unsatisfied. I know it sounds silly, but I've just realised that google is not God. It can't give me comfort or any real hope. That can only come from God. I've realised my sinfulness in my constant craving for answers. I'm not trusting in God enough. Only in God can I find comfort and hope. Whatever happens. Whether my story turns out to be a wonderful one, or one of pain, it's God that is there and will give me the strength to get through it.

I can put my trust in the One who does know all the answers. I never will. But there is immense comfort and relief that the one in control of my life does know it all and will be there with through the good times and the bad. It feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders when I reflect on this.

Google, I may still use you from time to time, but God, you will be my rock, the answer to my fears and the One in whom I trust.

The release of Ernie the frog

We have had five tadpoles for the last couple of months. My uncle gave them to the kids when we last visited him. Well, on the weekend was a momentous occasion! Finally after weeks of waiting, one of the tadpoles was officially a frog! 4 legs, no tail and a good jumper!

We decided that although we enjoy watching the wonderful transformation from tadpole to frog that God put in place, we do not really want to keep the frogs. So we decided to release them. (After some extensive googling as to what species they were and checking we weren't going to kill off the aquatic ecosystem in the Hawkesbury!)

 Matty named this frog "Ernie". So we took him down to a lagoon in Richmond, said our goodbyes and released him into the puddles at the edge of the lagoon. Hopefully he will survive the many curious ducks and geese that were watching us release him! As you can see from the pictures below, he has pretty good camoflague in the mud!

In our tank we have a froglet who just needs to lose his tail, then he too can join Ernie! Then 3 more tadpoles to go. They don't even have back legs yet, but the kids are having fun watching and waiting!

So long Ernie, we pray you'll have a good life down at Richmond!













transformations

We've started a series on Acts 9 - 18 at church at the moment. I was reflecting on Acts 9 the other day and thinking about how amazing God is to bring about such as a transformation as Saul's. To think that Saul was such an enemy of Christians that he was plotting to kill them, and then miraculously, after he meets the risen Christ, he is preaching the same message as them. It really blows me away.

I think in my cynical nature, I often think of people as too far off for God to possibly reach. Reading Acts 9 really challenges my thinking! God is powerful to save anybody! If you haven't read it, you should, it's a great read. The resurrection of Christ makes a profound impact on peope's lives. It did for Saul, and it did for me too. Has the resurrection of Christ made any impact on your life?

Why I wanna be a sheep forever

I love Easter. I love having time with my family and I am quite partial to an easter egg or two! But to me, there is something far sweeter than chocolate at this time of year, and it has to do with sheep.

This morning, it's Easter Sunday, and instead of being with my church family, I'm on the sofa (not surprising since I only leave it every fortnight for my clinic appointments!) But this morning I decided to listen to a Bible talk on the net. It was about sheep. It made me realise the importance of me being a sheep, and the even greater importance of having a great Shepherd.

Sheep aren't that blessed with intelligence. They are followers, not leaders. But I want to be a sheep. I am a sheep. And am happy to stay a sheep forever.

As humans we are deisigned to be sheep and to need a shepherd. Jesus Christ is our good shepherd, and is forever, because, as we celebrate today, God raised Him from the dead. He loves us, cares for us, will never let us stray. He keeps His sheep. He is the perfect Shepherd who laid down is life for His sheep. I love being a sheep. I love following the great shepherd who knows me, keeps me and will never leave me!

Do you want to be a sheep? Do you know the Good shepherd?

4 weeks down....12 weeks to go (hopefully!)

I've been on bed rest for 4 weeks now! In some ways it seems to have gone so fast, but then the days can drag on and it sometimes feels like it will never end! I calculated the other day that if I go as long with this pregnancy as I did with Jess (38 weeks), I'll have been on bedrest for 34 weeks over the last two pregnancies!

I'm very thankful atm to be on holidays. It's nice to have a change of scenery, and especially good for Dave to only have the kids and me to look out for, without trying to juggle work too!

I'm 28weeks now! Thank you God! All is still stable and our little girl seems to be hanging in and doing well. I had my fortnightly outing to the clinic on Thursday. It's weird to be excited at the prospect of going to Nepean hospital, but when it's your only outing evey fortnight - it's quite nice to be anywhere but a sofa!  It was just a quick checkup. In 2 weeks I'll have another ultrasound to check that all is still stable. I'll be so excited if I can make it to 30 wks or beyond!

Despite my situation and my whingyness at it all, I am so thankful to God for so many things. We have two beautiful children and another one growing well. I have an amazing husband who is so patient with me and the kids and never complains (unlike me)! I'm thankful for the chance to have holidays and time wth my family. I'm well and have great friends and family that help out. I don't have to do any housework for a while!And I have an amzing Saviour in Jesus that sustains me and cares for me. I find it helpful to focus on these things when I'm tempted to feel down and sad at my situation.

What's in a name?

So we have found out that this little bubba inside me is a girl - well, the sonographer was pretty sure, bubs was crossing her legs and being very uncooperative! It's so exciting to know that I have a little girl, another beautiful daughter in my tummy.

Dave and I had decided not to find out the sex of this baby, but when the complications happened, we both wanted to know. It's a comfort to feel like I know a bit about who this baby is.

The problem with this baby being a girl is - the name! We had a boys name picked out, we both loved it and agreed on it. Girls names are a different matter. We simply can't agree on one we both really like. So because I can, I keep trauling baby name websites in the hope that a name will stand out to me that I'd never thought of before and that we both love. But it hasn't happened yet! So bubby just has to stay put for longer -  not just because we have no name of course!

I'm 27 weeks now, which gives me comfort. Thank you God for keeping this baby inside me for this long! At least babies born from now on have a good chance of survival, statistically speaking. But I'm praying that although I can't wait to meet her, that I won't for at least another 10 weeks!

So hopefully another 10 weeks to discuss names and get Dave to agree to the ones I like! ;)

ah... the memories of growing up in the 80's

Today random song words popped into my head. "Here we are Ramie, stuck in this old gold mine. ....just as sad as we can be, it seems like a long, long time, since we laughed and played together, you and me...how I wish that we could fly away, oh ramie. Sybal Sadie, I knw what you mean,  felt the same way too. I wanna get back home again, just as much as you...."

It took me a while to work out where that song had come from. Somewhere from my childhood. I then had a vague recollection that it was on a Cabbage Patch Kids album. I had forgotten about this album I once owned sometime in the 80's when I was in primary school.

Enter You Tube. I found the song, as well as numerous others from the record Cabbage Patch Dreams. Ah... the memories. I remember singing along to that album and  playing with my cabage patch doll "Bridie". I also remember other favourite toys - Rainbow Brite, Strawberry Shortcake, Care bears, My little pony.

Anyone else grow up in the 80's? What were your favourite childhood songs and toys?

I still have no idea why that song popped into my head, but it's given me a little chuckle for today!

A Change is as good as a holiday right?

I just spent the weekend on the sofa. But it was a different sofa, in a completely different location. What a lovely change!

We had our church camp on the weekend, and Dave and Matty went off to camp together, while Jess and I stayed at my brother and sister-in-law's house. It was so nice to just get out of our house - and I got to stay on a different sofa for a whole weekend!

Jess and I had a lovely time hanging out with my brother, his wife and their adorable little girl Ava. It was so cute to see Jess and Ava have some extended time together and develop a cute little friendship. I love watching them run around outside giggling and squealing with delight!

It was also nice ordering my little brother around- "Ben, I need a drink, and some lunch!"  I'm sure he loved it too! But I am so so so thankful for the way he and Kate looked after both me and Jess. It was like having two extra toddlers you have to do everything for!

But, back home now, back to my sofa and "normal" life for the time being. Only that we arrived home to a mouse infested house! Ewwwww! I hate them! So far today, 3 have been found and evicted. How many more will there be? Thankfully Dave's mum was here to disinfect the house for me!

And also 3 of the 5 tadpoles we have are now growing back legs! Exciting for the kids to see. I wonder how long it'll be before we have a mouse and frog infested home! Help!

Did you know I used to be in a POP group?

That's right! It was around the 1999 - 2001 era I think. Growing up, my first ever record I bought (you know records - those big round black things with grooves that play music) was 1927's album "ish". I was also into Milli Vanilli in late primary school. I had a large poster of them on my bedrom wall! Then through the high school years I liked U2, REM, Alanis Morrisett, Greenday, The Corrs, Sarah McLachlan (and maybe secretly vanilla ice & MC Hammer). Right now, many of you might have lost all respect for me, but hey - I was young!

Just after uni was when I started a POP group. There were 5 of us in the group, and although some in the group were very musically gifted (not me), we didn't actually didn't play any music or sing or perform. We used to meet once a week at my house to pray and read the Bible. We made up the name POP for our group meaning Power Of Prayer.

I must say, those times with those 4 other girls were awesome! Thanks girls who were in POP with me! I loved reading the Bible with them, chatting about God, Jesus and our lives and praying. I think praying to the Creator of the universe and sharing your life with others is one of the greatest experiences ever.

I've been doing quite a bit of praying recently. For friends, family and for our beautiful unborn child. I love that I can talk to the one who made this life inside me and who knows how many days it will have on this earth. It's awesome to talk to the one who is in control of my situation and will help me through it no matter what happens.

Tomorrow I have another ultrasound. To check how my condition is going and to check the baby. Dave and I have now decided to find out the sex of this baby. I'm so looking forward to knowing who this little one inside me is. But I also know the risks with tomorrow's ultrasound. If things worsen, I could have to stay in hospital, or delivery this baby very prematurely. So what can I do?

I can pray. Pray for God's strength to help me through. Pray that I'll be patient as I wait. Pray that this baby will be healthy and go full term. Pray & thank God that no matter what He will never leave me.

I am the Lego Queen!

Matty (our 41/2 yr old) is really into lego. REALLY REALLY into lego. I often build things with him and for him.

When I found out I'd be on bedrest for a while, I was explaining to the kids what that would mean and what I could and couldn't do. I told them I couldn't help them get ready in the mornings, or take them on bike rides anymore, but I could do things like read them stories, play games and build lego. In my haste to let Matty know that I still wanted to be able to play with him I told him I would be able to build him lego - lots of lego. I announced to him with great gusto "I am the lego queen - I can build you as much lego as you like"!

What was I thinking saying such a thing to a 4 year old? How did I not realise that in saying this I would be a slave to his every lego whim? So, I have built many, many creations in the 11 days I've been on the sofa so far.

So far I've built many rockets, a couple of houses (with as many rooms as requested), a campervan, a Buzz lightyear, a star wars figure, a spiderman thingy, a horse and a dog. Todays request: a garbage truck.

Time to get building!

Goodbye Church

It's Sunday, 9:51am, and I'm at home, blogging. This is not a typical Sunday for me. Ususally I'm at church (and enjoying it)! But not anymore, well, at least temporarily.

It feels weird, everyone in my house it at church, many of my friends and family are at church, I want to be at church, but alas, I am not. But I am still so thankful. Thankful that God is not limited to a particular building on a particular day. I can read his word and be connected to Him everyday, even from my couch!

I've been reading through Deuteronomy at the moment and was struck by this verse yesterday "Acknowledge and take to heart this day that the LORD is God in heaven above and on the earth below. There is no other." Deut 4:39

It is such a bold statement - God is declaring he is the one and only God, the God of everywhere and everything. He is in control. It makes me stop and think. He is in control. I need to acknowledge Him. He knows when this couch sitting will end, because He planned it. It gives me comfort to know that there is one true God, that He knows me, loves me and has planned my life out for me - whatever happens.

This verse also reminds me of another favourite verse that Dave and I both love "Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12. Peter is speaking to a crowd about Jesus - it is in him, and him alone that we find salvation. Not in church, or anythng else we put our hope in, but in Jesus. I love that!

So even though I still miss miss being at church and especially the people, I don't have to miss out on Jesus. And I still get lots of lovely visitors, and praise God for sermons online! I can listen to my husband preaching over the net!

So today, I lie on the couch, with a cup of chai, reading my Bible. It's really not so bad!

The art of loafering

So, here I am again, back on full bedrest at 25 weeks pregnant. This has happened before, with my last pregnancy, but it has still come as a shock.

I'm on bedrest because of complications with my pregnancy. Here's a brief history of my pregnancies. With my first, in 2006, all went well, except that I went into labour at 36wks. Our son Matthew was born healthy and well, and as we had just moved house 2 days prior to the birth, we just put his early arrival down to me doing too much in packing, unpacking and cleaning.

Our second pregnancy in 2008 was going well til 19weeks when we had our routine ultrasound. It was discovered there that my cervix was dilating and shortened. I was told to go straight to hospital to have an emergency stitch put in my cervix to stop it dilating any more. From that point I was on strict bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy. There were a few more scares with that pregnancy, with Jessica almost born at 26wks. We were given a tour of the NICU and told to prepare for the worst. Praise be to God who kept Jessica inside my body until almost 39wks,when she was born, a beautiful healthy girl.

We were told that I have what's called an "incompetent cervix" (such a lovely name) and that with subsequent pregnancies I would have a precautionary stitch placed at 14wks. After that I wouldn't be able to do any heavy lifting, but besides that it would be a relatively normal pregnancy.

So, when I fell pregnant this time, all went as planned. The stitch was put in at 14wks, the cervix was looking closed and long on the scans and I avoided lifting anything over 3kg. They did regular checks and all was going well til last week. At 24wks, my cervix was dilating internally (above the stitch), and my cervix had shortened to a length of 7mm below the stitch. (Anything under 2.5cm and they really worry)!

So back on bedrest, hence why I am the loafer on the sofa.  I feel like I'm getting pretty good at the art of loafering, although I really dislike it!

But I am thankful to God for so many things so far in my pregnancies- 2 beautiful children so far and medical intervention that helps me and others in my situation.

So this blog is an attempt to keep my mind busy and active and to share some of the random things that pop into my head as I go along this journey.

BTW - the blogs won't usually be this long - just wanted to share some background!