Fast & Furious - the birth of Sophie Joy

Before I recount this story, just a warning - it is a labour and birth story - so while I won't go into too much gross detail - it still is a labour story - so read on at your own choice!

On Monday 11th July, I woke up at 5:30am quite startled. Not because labour had started, but because Dave had dropped something off his side table and woke me up. I was quite annoyed as I didn't want to be awake that early. I grunted something to Dave to show my displeasure and rolled over to try to get back to sleep. Then I noticed my back was quite sore. I didn't think much of it, because my back was always sore at 40+ weeks and each morning I woke up feeling quite uncomfortable. I needed to go to the toilet, and got up to go thinking my back seemed worse than usual. I told Dave, but said there were no contractions, so don't get too excited.

I climbed back into bed, and at 6am, I felt something like the baby had suddenly dropped down. It's a weird feeling, like a thud inside your body. This was how labour started with Jessica when my waters broke. So I went back to the bathroom to discover my waters had broke. I told Dave, very excited now that this had to be it. Although there were still no contractions, just some back pain, so I told Dave to get dressed and ready to go. He got himself ready, then got the kids up and dressed them. By this time, contractions had begun. They were pretty close together from the start - about 3-4mins I think.

By the time Dave had the kids dressed, he called his mum to leave from Wollongong to come over, and then our lovely local friends to come around asap to mind the kids til Dave's mum got there.

By this stage I was pacing the lounge room, contractions about 2-3 mins apart and in a lot of pain. I was telling Dave to hurry up. Once our friend arrived to mind the kids, we left just after 6:40am.

The car trip over was very intense. My contractions were getting closer and closer together. Dave was asking me all sorts of questions about whether I wanted the aircon warmer or cooler. I was not particulalry helpful in my responses - as by this stage I was in transition and pretty cranky! I found it really hard to get comfortable while strapped in the car seat with contractions very intense and under 2 mins apart.

Dave was driving very fast (the hospital is half an hour away), as he knew we didn't have much time. We saw a police car who'd pulled over someone ahead for speeding, so I yelled at Dave to slow down, only to tell him to speed up again once we were past him!

At a set of lights I realised I hadn't told my mum I was in labour (she was in Coffs Harbour as her mother was very sick). So I rang her at 7:05 and said something like "Mum, it's me, on the way to hospital, contractions very close, can't talk, BYE!"

Then 2 mins later we were at the hospital. Dave came over to help me out and I realised I couldn't move. My legs would not move. My contractions were pretty constant now, so I waited for what seemed like a break and Dave had to move my legs out the car for me to be able to stand up. As soon as I stood, I realised I wouldn't be able to walk far. We walked through the carpark to the pathway when I felt the unmistakable urge to push. For those who've had children, you'll understand when I say that you can't stop that urge. You must push. It's like an instinct or something.

So I started screaming. And I mean SCREAMING. I was yelling "Help. I need to push!" I just kept yelling. I couldn't walk. Poor Dave didn't know what to do. I yelled that he had to go get someone, I knew I couldn't move. Then I just started to squat down and push. There was nothing else I could do. I could feel the baby's head and knew I had to push her out. I was screaming the whole time.

Then out of about 3 different doors I never knew existed popped all these heads. Hospital staff were running from everywhere. One women yelled "I'm a midwife, I know that sound. Do you need a wheelchair?"  I was still screaming. Dave said yes and they put me on it and wheeled me to the delivery suite. I was still screaming "I'm pushing!" The midwife was telling me not to push - I told her "I"M PUSHING!" They got me into a room very quickly and helped me onto a bed. I told them again I was pushing. They said, don't push. There were about 3 or 4 midwives rushing around in there. One was saying she was getting a monitor to strap onto me for the baby, the others were asking details of Dave and me. I was still yeling "I have to push!"

So they pulled my pants off and had a look. "Oh!" One of them said, "I can see the head, you can push."

So I pushed, with the first push, her head was out. Then with the second push, she was completely out. It was absolutely amazing. I think I'd been on the bed for about a minute or two max before she arrived. She was born at 7:13am.

The midwives put her straight up onto my chest for a cuddle. It was such a relief to see her! I looked over at Dave and he had this stunned look on his face, like he couldn't believe it had happened so fast!

Soon after I got to have some proper skin to skin contact with our little Sophie and give her a breast feed. Since then it's all been that wonderful blurry time with a newborn. She is adorable and we praise God for her safe arrival in the hospital!

Now all I need is a new title for this blog. No more loafering for me with 3 kids! Suggestions anyone?

It's been a while

It's been two weeks since I had the stitch out, and I can't believe that I still haven't had the baby! I'm 38 weeks today and very thankful to God that He has got me this far in the pregnancy. I'm looking forward to meeting this little girl soon.

With Jessica I went into labour at 38 1/2 weeks, and with Matty is was earlier, so I'm thinking that this baby can't stay in longer than a few days. But then, what do I know? God's the one in control. My prayer now is that she be healthy and well when she arrives and that we'll get to the hospital in time! My labours are quite quick, so with the hospital half an hr away, I'm slightly anxious Dave will have to deliver this baby in the car!

The last couple of weeks I've been gradually doing more and more each day. Now I feel like I'm almost back to normal duties, although I feel quite tired doing everything! I think it's probably a combination of my body getting used to moving around all the time after over 3 months of lying down (my muscles ached so much the first few days after I was off rest), and also that I'm 38 weeks pregnant, and it just is exhausting carrying around all this extra weight!

Matty and Jess are enjoying having me mobile again. Jess keeps asking when we go out "Are you coming with us Mummy?" and when I say yes, she gets so excited and jumps around! I love being able to do more with them again.

I've also been in the most extreme nesting phase ever! I have systematically rearranged and organised almost every room in the house in the last 2 weeks. I'm loving being able to tidy and organise and feel really ready for this baby now. I think Dave is loving not having to do so much as well! He has been fantastic over the last few months and I can't believe how loving and patient he is. I am very thankful for such a wonderful husband! He's also learnt some good cooking techniques and recipes which I think he's hoping I'll forget he knows! No such luck Davey!

So for those who pray, please pray that this baby will be healthy and be born soon! Pray that she'll grow up to know and love Jesus and that Dave and I would be wise and godly parents to her and our other two beautiful children.

And so the waiting game continues...

The "simple" procedure

This is for those who are interested in the events of the last couple of days for me...a warning though... I will use words such as cervix, so if this is going to freak you out, stop reading now! Also - this is a long read - I tend to waffle a bit!

On Friday morning we were told to go into the birthing suite at 10am to have the stitch out. We arrived and were put in a waiting room til the dr was ready. We happened to be in the waiting room with two very excited ladies waiting to hear of the birth of their granddaughter in the room next door. They had to wait about an hr or so and were starting to get worried as the pushing part of the birth had been going on for a while. Dave prayed with them which was a great unexpected opportunity. The baby eventually arrived safely for them with lots of granny tears and excitement!

Around 12 we were called in. I told them straight up that my last expereince was very painful and I wanted the gas. The dr was happy enough for that to happen. Yay! The procedure started and although it was uncomfortable, it wasn't too painful so I held out without the gas. They got the stitch out, but then discovered there were two stitches in there. The second stitch was harder to reach. My cervix was very soft and the stitch (to use the dr's words) was "embedded" in there. OUCH! So she tried to get it out for a while, but it was clear it wasn't going to happen, and my cervix was cut and bleeding by their attempts so they gave up. She examined me and said she could feel the baby's head! That freaked me out a little!

 They told me I'd need a general anaesthetic to get it out. I was pretty disappointed, but happy I'd at least be asleep for the next bit, so no more pain! (So I thought!) Because I had eaten just before the procedure I then had to fast for the next 6hrs before I could have a general. More waiting!

About half an hr later another dr came in who was a specialist. He said he'd be willing to have another go at getting the stitch out so we could avoid the anaesthetic.He said it would definately hurt quite a bit (at least he was honest), so they'd make sure I was using the gas before they started. Dave and I agreed to give it a go.

So I sucked on that gas so hard before they started that I was light headed and laughing hysterically! I love that stuff. So he had a try, and it was pretty awful. I think Dave's hand might have got a bit bruised with how hard I squeezed it! The gas was great, but it really can't mask the pain that much! Thankfully the dr realised pretty quickly that it wasn't going to work and stopped. They agreed that a general was the only way to get it out. So, back to waiting. I was transferred to the antenatal ward to wait it out.

I was booked in for the op at 6pm, but things never go to plan, so ended up leaving for the op at 10:30pm.
In the meantime they put monitors on me and the baby as they were worried with all they'd done I'd go into labour. I was also bleeding a bit too. I started having some back pain which began to come in waves and quite regularly. I had similar back pains in labour with Matty, so a midwife stayed with me to monitor what was happening. They started coming every 2 minutes, but there was no abdominal tightening, so they still weren't sure if it was contractions or not. They rang down to theatre to say I needed to go quickly, but still I had to wait at least another hour. The contractions started to calm dowm and things went back to normal just before I went to theatre.

I was wheeled in, ready to go and the anaesthesiologist spoke to me telling me he was going to give me a spinal injection. I told him I was told it'd be a general anaesthetic. He spent a great deal of time trying to convince me to have a spinal instead. I was very hesitant, I couldn't talk to Dave - and feeling very anxious. I just didn't like the idea of needles in my spine, even though I know they are used all the time. But eventually I agreed as it would be better for the baby.

Then the surgeon came in to talk to me and told me I'd be having a general. I spoke to her about what the anaesthesiologist had said and she was very surprised. She spoke to him and it was obvious that they disagreed about what should be done. But the spinal was agreed upon. I was very nervous - I hated the idea of being awake for the whole thing.

The worst bit was the needles going in my back, after that the procedure was fine and I wasn't anxious at all. But it was the weirdest feeling - I've never had pins and needles quite like that! The procedure went well and quickly. After it was over, I was in recovery and had the shakes very violently. This lasted for an hour and a half at least and was not fun at all! My blood pressure (which is always quite low) dropped a lot and they had to monitor me very closely. Eventually Dave was allowed in and I told him about all the change in plans and what had happened. Once I was stable, (a couple of hrs after the prcedure) I was transferred back to antenatal. I was starting to have sensation in my knees finally. But it took quite a few hours before I could feel my legs fully. They did a check of the baby's heart beat and once that was fine and I was settled, Dave could finally go home around 2ish for some sleep! I didn't get much sleep that nght with all the obs that had to be done.

The next day, things settled down and I felt much better. They did a check of the baby, and at first she was showing signs of distress, so I needed the ctg machine on for a good 45 mins to check she was ok. Eventually she started to do the right thing. Praise God! Otherwise they were talking emergency caesar. 

So they wanted to keep me in another night just to be sure all was ok with me and the baby. Things went well after that with this bub doing great (must have been the extra chocolate I ate to hype her up!) The only thing they were worried about was my low blood pressure, til they worked out that was just me!

So on Sunday morning the dr gave me the all clear to go home! I'm thankful that it's all over and that everything is ok with the baby at the moment! I'm thinking though that this bub will be making her entrance soon!

Off the sofa?

Well, tomorrow's the day. Tomorrow I am 36 weeks pregnant, and the stitch will come out (hopefully)!  I have to call into the birthing suite at 7:30am tomorrow to see when I can come in. There's 3 caesars booked in, so who knows if they'll get around to me or not!

I'm a little bit excited and a little bit anxious all at once. I know from last time that it is not a quick pain-free procedure like they promise! They don't offer any pain relief, except last time I ended up having the gas as things didn't go as quickly as they promised! So this time, I will be holding onto that gas from the word go!

I'm excited because it means that my time on the sofa is coming to an end! And even better, very soon we get to meet our precious little girl. I'll be getting up ad moving around a bit more from tomorrow - and will probably even go to church for the first time in 12 weeks- yay! But I still need to be careful not to overdo it too much. It'd be better for bubs if she could stay in another week or two.

So for those who pray: please pray that tomorrow would go quickly and not be too painful! Also pray that this little girl would be born safely when the time is right. There is still the risk that an infection may have developed in the womb that we don't know about. And pray that through all that happens God would be glorified in our lives and the precious life of our little girl who we can't wait to meet!

the simple things...

When you don't get out much, I find you need to focus on the simple things in life that bring joy and amusement to your day. Otherwise I'd just feel bored and sorry for myself!

So here's the simple things I've been thankful for recently:

Watching my little girl put on a tutu and dance around the lounge room.

Watching the delight on Jessica's face as she sees her birthday cake.

Rain falling on the roof.

Watching the stars from my bed at night through the skylight.

Watching my kids giggle with glee as they put gumboots on and jump in puddles.

Family treat time - chocolate milk! Yum.

Seeing Matthew help Jess when something's too hard for her.

My lovely husband preparing dinner for us night after night.

Having the time to read my Bible and other good books during the day!

Good friends who visit and chat with me over a nice hot cuppa.

Just a few of my favourite things at the moment. Time is ticking away though. I've been on bed rest for 11 weeks now. The date for the stitch to come out has been set for the 10th of June. I can't believe how soon that is! After that I'll get up and move around much more, assuming the baby doesn't come straight away! And I'm sure once this baby comes I'll long for these days again when I could rest all day! I'm praying that when life gets more hectic that I can still take small moments every now and then to stop and be thankful for the simple things.

Google: friend or foe?

I've always been someone who needs to know answers. When I was growing up I was constantly asking questions. Questions about everything. I used to drive my parents nuts on long car trips! Mum told me that if they could have afforded it, they would have bought me a set of encyclopedias to save all the questioning they endured! Those were the days before wikipedia and google of course.

Fast forward in time twentyish years, and here I am, the same girl, with an insatiable desire for answers to my questions. My questions have changed a lot over the years, but there are still so many questions! And I can't rest til I have answers. So, with the dawn of the digital age, the internet and answers immediately available at my fingertips, I am in heaven! Well, so I would have thought. The answers to my questions still go unanswered sometimes, and other times the answers are very unsatisfactory. Also, I have a tendancy towards being a worrier and slightly paranoid, so a little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing! Let me illustrate this with an amusing parenting story.

About a year and a half ago, I was reading a Jodi Piccoult book about a child with leukemia. So, as I had read this FICTIONAL book on the symptoms of leukaemia, of course I felt like I knew a bit about the disease. A couple of weeks after I read the book I was bathing the kids. I noticed Matthew (3yrs at the time) had a small bruise on the back of his neck. Immediately I thought of the book, where the mother first noticed bruises on her child, which led her to find out about the leukemia. I thought to myself, "Now Stephanie, don't panic. It's just a bruise. Kids get bruises all the time. Don't get carried away." But I couldn't let it rest. That night as the kids went to sleep I googled leukemia. Well, that was not a great idea. It sent me into a slight panic, as Matty had a couple of the symptoms - pale, sleeps a lot, bruises. I had enough sense to not book a Dr's appt straight away, but armed with this new information I was worried. I thought I'd just wait a while and see if any other symptoms developed. Two or so weeks later, while bathing the kids, I noticed another small bruise in the same spot on his neck. My heart started beating faster. All the information I knew about leukemia came rushing back and I was scared. I looked closer at the bruise and touched it. The mark started to wipe away. I grabbed the washer and rubbed, and the bruise had gone! I then realised what it was. Matty had started preschool that year and I had dutifully written his name on the tags of all his clothes. As it was summer and he was sweaty, the texta had rubbed off onto his neck. Needless to say I was relieved, and vowed never to panic myself via google again!

But, old habits take a while to break. So being laid up as I am, it's hard not to google the words "incompetent cervix" and see what you get. I've read wonderful stories and stories of heartbreak and pain. I know a lot about the condition technically and the different treaments they use around the world for it. I've read countless online forums and personal blogs and stories. And I have so much inforamtion and answers. But, it doesn't comfort me. I thought it would. But this is my life, not someone elses. There are no guarantees, no real answers, just wait and see.

I've come to realise that knowing answers and more information isn't necessarily a good thing. Google is not my friend. It promises so much, but ultimately I am unsatisfied. I know it sounds silly, but I've just realised that google is not God. It can't give me comfort or any real hope. That can only come from God. I've realised my sinfulness in my constant craving for answers. I'm not trusting in God enough. Only in God can I find comfort and hope. Whatever happens. Whether my story turns out to be a wonderful one, or one of pain, it's God that is there and will give me the strength to get through it.

I can put my trust in the One who does know all the answers. I never will. But there is immense comfort and relief that the one in control of my life does know it all and will be there with through the good times and the bad. It feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders when I reflect on this.

Google, I may still use you from time to time, but God, you will be my rock, the answer to my fears and the One in whom I trust.

The release of Ernie the frog

We have had five tadpoles for the last couple of months. My uncle gave them to the kids when we last visited him. Well, on the weekend was a momentous occasion! Finally after weeks of waiting, one of the tadpoles was officially a frog! 4 legs, no tail and a good jumper!

We decided that although we enjoy watching the wonderful transformation from tadpole to frog that God put in place, we do not really want to keep the frogs. So we decided to release them. (After some extensive googling as to what species they were and checking we weren't going to kill off the aquatic ecosystem in the Hawkesbury!)

 Matty named this frog "Ernie". So we took him down to a lagoon in Richmond, said our goodbyes and released him into the puddles at the edge of the lagoon. Hopefully he will survive the many curious ducks and geese that were watching us release him! As you can see from the pictures below, he has pretty good camoflague in the mud!

In our tank we have a froglet who just needs to lose his tail, then he too can join Ernie! Then 3 more tadpoles to go. They don't even have back legs yet, but the kids are having fun watching and waiting!

So long Ernie, we pray you'll have a good life down at Richmond!